APOLOGIES(7)           Miscellaneous Information Manual           APOLOGIES(7)

NAME
     Apologies – making them

DESCRIPTION
     Apologies are very important to me.  Unfortunately I've only recently
     realized how valuable they are.  I've tried to think about what makes a
     good apology, since it's not something I was ever taught.  This is the
     advice I came up with for myself, on how to apologize.

     1.   Make the apology.  This is the most important part.  If you feel
          guilty for something you've done, or think you might have hurt
          someone, apologize.  Even if they don't need an apology, saying
          sorry won't hurt.  And start with that.  Literally say “I'm sorry”.
          Sometimes people forget that.

          On the other side, if you've been hurt by someone, and you trust
          them, let them know.  Give them a chance to apologize.  People don't
          always realize they've made a mistake.

     2.   Explain what you did wrong.  I think it's important for the other
          person to know you understand how you've messed up.  Really think
          about this!  It's what will help you learn.  If you know you've hurt
          someone but you're not sure why, you can try asking them.  Take
          their answer seriously.

     3.   Don't make excuses.  Do not talk about yourself.  Don't even mention
          how you were feeling stressed that day, or whatever.  It's not
          relevant.  We all make mistakes, we all have bad days.

     4.   Commit to doing better.  Try to learn from your mistakes.  Say it
          won't happen again.  Literally say “I won't do that again”.  And
          then try your hardest to make that true.  An apology is a
          commitment, not something you're done with once you've said it.

AUTHORS
     june <june@causal.agency>

Causal Agency                 September 19, 2022                 Causal Agency